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1
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Introduction Yasmin Merei
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2
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Birth, family and childhood in Kalat Hassan, Syria
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2.1
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Landscape in Kalat Hassan
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2.2
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Social and family structure
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2.3
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Move to Homs and studies
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2.4
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Role of class in the syrian society
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2.5
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Occupation of the parents
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2.6
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Stigmatization of poverty
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3
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Marriage
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3.1
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Marriage and class
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3.2
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The divorce
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3.3
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Religion and life choices
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3.4
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Return to the family's house after divorce
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4
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Working in Syria
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5
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Role of religion and tradition within the family
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6
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Difficulties of a divorced woman in society
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7
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Political atmosphere in Syria
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7.1
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Demonstrations, revolution and life in Homs
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7.2
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Valley of Christians in Kalat Hasan
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7.3
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Siege and inflation
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7.4
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Move of the husband to Libanon, bombardement of Syria
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8
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Escape to Sweida
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8.1
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Leaving the family house
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8.2
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Uncertainty and the decision to leave Kalat Hasan
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8.3
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Escape
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8.4
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The only object from home, the book of poetry
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8.5
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Farewell from home
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9
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Sweida
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9.1
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Renting a small flat
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9.2
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Militants take father and brother
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9.3
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Men of family in prison
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9.4
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Working as an editor for the newspaper
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9.5
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Fear of being arrested and rape and escape to Libanon
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10
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Citizens´ meetings and move to Beirut
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11
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Faith: hope for justice
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12
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Religious diversity in the region
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13
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Conflicts between various religious groups
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14
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Antagonism, fear for each other and espionage
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15
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Corruption and discrimination
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16
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Love and politics
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16.1
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A sunni woman falling in love with an alevist man
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16.2
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Mother forbids university
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16.3
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Secret relationship
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16.4
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Disagreement between families
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17
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Educational system in Syria
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18
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Politics in Syria
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18.1
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Dictatorship of Family Assad
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18.2
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Death of Hafiz al-Assad and fear of Alewites
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18.3
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Propaganda
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18.4
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Baath party and forced involvement
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18.5
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Bashar al Assad as president and hopes
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18.6
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Impossibility of opposition
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18.7
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Dreams of future and imaginations
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19
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Fate of the father
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19.1
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Father's arrest and torture
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19.2
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Meeting the brother in Libanon after liberation
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19.3
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Torture
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19.4
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Father's stroke in prison
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19.5
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Humiliation of father in prison
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19.6
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Death of father after prison
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20
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Escape to Libanon
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20.1
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Escape from Sweida
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20.2
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Checkpoints between Sweida and Damaskus
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20.3
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Escape to Beirut
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20.4
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Staying with friends
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21
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Move to Turkey
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21.1
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Invitation to media workshops in Turkey
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21.2
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Working as a journalist in Turkey
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21.3
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Residence status
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21.4
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Nomination for a scholarship in Los Angeles
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22
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War-violence, doubts and loss of faith
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23
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First visit in North-Syria
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23.1
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Interview with leader Ahrar-Sham
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23.2
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Normalization of death in syrian society
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23.3
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Ramadan and refusal to fast, loss of faith
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23.4
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Impressions of Syria
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24
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Taking off the Hidjab
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25
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Faith, religion and spirituality
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26
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Scholarship and connection to Germany
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27
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Previous knowledge about Germany
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28
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Traveling with a Syrian passport
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29
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Relation between Judaism and Israel
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30
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Traveling to the USA and impressions
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31
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Asylum
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32
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Political debate about migration and democratic values
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33
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Difficulties for refugees when arriving in Europe
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34
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Germany, Berlin
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34.1
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Visa and work in Germany
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34.2
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Love for Berlin
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34.3
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Asylum for brother in London
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34.4
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Contact with mother
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34.5
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Support for the family in Syria from here
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34.6
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Pain of the syrian mother
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34.7
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Support and help by german friends
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34.8
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Experiences in Germany
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34.9
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Society's reaction to refugees
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34.10
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Building a syrian community, pain and alienation
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34.11
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Language and integration
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34.12
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Refugee status, stigmas and privileges
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34.13
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Learning German
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34.14
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Memories of Homs and new relation to Berlin
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34.15
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Confrontation with death in Syrian and Germany
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34.16
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Anthropological museums, history and identity
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35
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Final words
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