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1
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Introduction Eric Mbiakeu
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2
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Family and childhood in Cameroon
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2.1
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Family structure
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2.2
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Mother's religion
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2.3
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Mother tongue
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2.4
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Memories of childhood
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2.5
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Financing and economical circumstances of the family
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2.6
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School
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2.7
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Permanent moves
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3
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Boarding school
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4
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First encounter with father
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5
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Discovery of sexuality
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6
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University
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7
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Sexual identity being scared away and relationships
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8
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Social oppression
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8.1
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Homophobic attacks
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8.2
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Interrogations at the police
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8.3
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Reaction and support from the mother
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9
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Escape
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9.1
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Letter from court and fear of pursuit
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9.2
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Items from home
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9.3
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Planing for the escape
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9.4
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Escape to Nigeria
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9.5
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Escape to Niger and construction work
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10
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Lybia
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10.1
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Through the desert with a smuggler
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10.2
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Kidnapping and arrest in Sabha
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10.3
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Slavery
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10.4
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Women as sex-slaves and forced prostitution
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10.5
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Payment and liberation
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10.6
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Tripoli and making contact with the mother
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10.7
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Ghettos
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10.8
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Thoughts of suicide
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10.9
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Messages from friend
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10.10
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Imaginations of Europe
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10.11
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Risks of the mediterranean sea
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10.12
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Saving the friend
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10.13
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Second kidnapping at the market
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10.14
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Prison
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10.15
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Friend tries to rescue
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10.16
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Murder of friends by slave-owners
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10.17
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Planing the escape
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10.18
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Escape
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10.19
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Being shot
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10.20
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Decision for escaping to Europe
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11
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The mediterranean sea
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11.1
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On the boat through the mediterranean sea
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11.2
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Stop of the boat-engine
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11.3
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Calling the mother from the boat
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11.4
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Rescue by Italian sea guards
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12
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Italy
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12.1
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Arrival in Italy
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12.2
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Arrest and prison
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12.3
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Depression in prison
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12.4
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Liberation
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12.5
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Making contact with the mother
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12.6
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Getting help
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12.7
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Arrival in Basel
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12.8
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Imaginations of Germany
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13
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Germany
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13.1
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Sexual identity in Germany
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13.2
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Father's attempts to change sexuality and trauma
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13.3
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Feeling of arriving
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13.4
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Psychological support
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13.5
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Asylum home, lack of freedom and racism
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13.6
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Lack of orientation and information
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13.7
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Language school
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13.8
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Police attack at the asylum home and deportation
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13.9
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Airport
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13.10
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Being homeless in Berlin
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13.11
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Asylum application and refusals
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14
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Sexuality and confusion
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15
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Dreams and hopes
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16
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Exchanging experiences and help for other refugees
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